Muller in Kosovo: Part Deux

Skopje, Film City, Eagle Eggs and Harleys

2008-01-18T14:15:00.000-05:00

Welcome back, folks! I hope everyone is keeping warm and has made it through the post-Holiday blues. For those of you who know my older brother Joe, he recently joined his wife Marzena in Green Bay where they are both now in practice. The other day... -10 F before the windchill. It was -3 F with 2-12 MPH winds for the game Sunday. All things considered, I'll take Kosovo! It has actually warmed up a great deal and the daytime highs have been in the high 40s to low 50s. The sun has made almost daily appearances, too. Two weeks ago, I completed another mission to Skopje, Macedonia for patient MR exams. This includes crossing the Southern border of Kosovo (technically Serbia as well) which can sometimes be a challenge. My roommate CPT Cuka created an international incident when he flew in through Skopje without a passport. The Army told him all you need to travel is your military ID and orders but then again, the Army tells us all kinds of things. The Macedonia Border Security Officers almost sent him back to Milan which was the connecting flight he came in on. They allowed him to enter, but the incident went up to the State department level. Bottom line: you need a passport, no matter what the Army tells you. This time we stopped at a mall which was quite nice. The had a currency booth to exchange Euros for Macedonian Denars. We did some browsing and bought several things for family and friends.

Mall in Skopje, Macedonia

Street in front of Mall

Yes, it is still Europe you know

Graffiti in Cyrillic- you don't see that every day

Vintage Yugoslavian car

Bečej is a town and municipality located in the South Bačka District of Vojvodina, Serbia

The following week, it was back to Pristina and Klinika Euromed for MR exams. They have the flouroscopy suite I needed to do an intra-articular shoulder injection before the MR. I said goodbye to all my friends there, as that would be my last mission to that clinic.

The lobby at Klinika Euromed

My interpreter Arben Limoni and the MR technologists at Euromed

After leaving the clinic, we went to KFOR Main headquarters in Pristina for lunch and shopping. The base is located on the southwest outskirts of the city at a location called Film City. This name comes from the fact that NATO chose abandoned warehouses that used to be part of a thriving local film industry as their command post. The site was the home of Kosovafilm, a film production, distribution and screening company in Kosovo. It was established on Feb 20th 1969 by Parliament of Kosovo nomination. Kosovafilm produced short movies, documentaries, cartoons and later feature movies. In 1971 the department of distribution was established: movies were brought with exclusive screening rights for all ex-Yugoslavia and Balkan. By this department over 200 feature movies and foreign production were distributed. This included such titles as Proka (a drama from 1984) and Pikniku (a comedy from 1985). More recently, Kosovafilm reemerged to produce the 2005 film Kukumi. In this first film from the United Nations Mission in Kosovo area, three inmates from a mental institution find themselves free when Serbian guards flee as NATO peacekeepers enter Kosovo. They wander the countryside encountering hostility from locals. One, Hasan, dreams of marrying another, Mara, and they travel to his bombed village only to have his relatives and villagers turn on them. Probably not available at Blockbuster in the States but interesting nonetheless!

Many of the major players who contribute troops to KFOR have a PX (Post Exchange) at Film City, so it a popular weekend destination for soldiers. This includes German, French, Italian, French, American, Scandinavian and Turkish PXs.

Shopping at Film City/KFOR Main

The French have to be different... it's a Boutique!

Lunch at the Italian Restaurant at Film City/KFOR Main

Me with Arben and CPT Waterman (ER nurse)

Another extremely popular pastime with KFOR soldiers is buying the knock-off watches outside the gate at Film City. There are probably 4-5 different shops, each with their own distinctive flair. To my knowledge none of the watches outside Film City are real, though you can get some pretty good prices on the real deal in Pristina. Some are darn good imitations, and others belong inside a clear plastic egg inside a gumball machine. Just ask the salesman though... they're all good, and on discount! Several of the docs before had bought them, and I am a sucker. I caved and got myself a Folex. Looks pretty good and works just fine, but I'm not fooling anybody. Have you ever seen an entire platoon of infantrymen in full "battle-rattle" each sporting a Rolex, Breitling or Omega on their wrist? Just come to Kosovo, my friends.

Outside the shop where I got my Folex

All good... and on discount, just for you!

Do you really think Rolex would allow a franchise on this street?

This guy said, "I don't set prices, I just work here." Right....

The last picture was taken in an effort to illustrate the air quality in Pristina. The issues are the power plants which are obsolete and use 40-year-old coal technology. They belch ungodly amounts of pollution into the air and create this unique sulfurous smog you really have to see (and smell) to believe. Good news is, you can pass gas (if needed) and no one will notice.

I had noticed on my last time in Kosovo that many of the older ethnic Albanian men wore this distinctive white hat that resembled, well... an egg. As luck would have it, I was lamenting the fact that I did not have one when our interpreter Bennie gave me the scoop. The hat indicates that these men are "Sons of the Eagle". Not just any old eagle, but the double-headed beast from the Albanian flag. And where would a son of an eagle come from, children? An egg of course! Hence the traditional ethnic Albanian headdress. They are quite literally, eggheads.

Traditional Ethnic Albanian "Son of the Eagle"

Honorary "Son of the Eagle"

Yes Katie. It's mine... it's coming home... and it's going in the livingroom!

I know that on an earlier posting I promised pictures of the famed "Kosovo Harley". There are actually too many variants to list, but here is a little potpourri:

Picking up some groceries

Just running some errands

The original "Kosovo Harley" Sweet!

Well, that about wraps it up folks. Just thought I would leave you with a few views of Camp Bondsteel over the past few weeks. Didn't get hassled by the MPs this time, either!

Sunday at Camp Bondsteel

Sunset looking out the ER door

Mount Duke watching over the aviation hangers at twilight

Muller out.

Blackhawks and Dragons

2008-01-05T12:22:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! By now the parties have ended, the resolutions have been broken and just about everyone goes back to work tomorrow. I will admit I broke my resolution... I was planning to eat breakfast everyday this year but overslept and missed the DFAC on the 2nd by 15 minutes. At least there's 2009!

My New Year message to my wife, Katie

The new year started as cold as ever, with several days in the single digits. By now we have each accepted our fate and pretty much layer-up to survive. Thank goodness we work in a climate controlled hospital. I really have to hand it to the infantry maneuver units.

Silent Night, Freezing Night

Typical Army truck known as a "deuce-and-a-half"

Hi Mom!

Sunset over the frozen tundra and Mt Duke

This week, I was wandering down past the EMT department and witnessed the Air Ambulance crew preparing and executing a training exercise. The Blackhawk was idling outside, so I thought I would try my hand at some video and incorporate it into my blog. Here goes...

BlackHawk idling on the pad

Crew preparing their "patient" for flight...

BlackHawk casualty loading

BlackHawk Liftoff!

Today, the weather decided to give us a break and went into the 40's. Balkan heatwave, baby! We went to church services as usual at the South Town Chapel. As the weather was so nice, following the service we decided to search for what we thought was Bondsteel lore (i.e. urban legend). Currently, there are battalions of both Polish and Ukranian soldiers living and operating out of Camp Bondsteel. We quickly located the Polish headquarters and confirmed the story. Myth Busters has nothing on us! Ssshhhhh! Mums the word. Please do not tell anyone that we located the secret office! I know we take liberties with our Polish friends, but this was too much. I figure we can send it to Leno, as he probably needs material more than ever right now. As the temperature rose above 0 degrees Kelvin, the snow was again amenable to packing. CPT Johnson (our ER doc and newly-minted DCCS) created a new masterpiece that put the Al Qaida snow rabbit to shame. It's a snow horse... dinosaur... dragon... of sorts. I was impressed with the creative use of our residual icicles. Yes... I know. It's either time to go home or increase my medication. Hi ho, silver. Stay Warm, Muller out.

I TOLD you they were dangerous...

2007-12-30T07:43:00.000-05:00

Just a quick update on likely the most harrowing experience I'll have on this deployment. Today started out well, and after waking I enjoyed the Dec 2nd service at Faith Lutheran Church in Arlington VA, sent to me on CD by Pastor John Bradford. I then went to the South Chapel and joined Chaplain Gustefson's 11:00 AM service. This was followed by the usual DFAC lunch and obligatory aimless wander through the PX (Post Exchange... forward operating base version of Wal-Mart). Bought some flavored water, it was a big day. As we neared the hooch, we spotted a rather large white rabbit smoking a Marlboro Red next to one of the fortified concrete bunkers. He looked different than the usual CBS (acroynm for Camp Bondsteel) bunnies we have discussed. Our risk assessment was low, so we approached with caution. After a brief friendly exchange (he spoke English, but with a sort of "Fargo" Northern Plains accent... possibly Canadian). Our guard was down so we decided to take a picture for our album. As I was posing with him, he whispered "I'm a highly trained Al Qaida operative, I know were you live, and I want the homemade cookies your wife Katie sent and a pound of uncooked carrots or else..." Instictively, my limited Army combat training took over.

I drew my sidearm and growled "Listen here you vermin terrorist white-devil, I know exactly who you are and I'm onto your friends, too. You can have my ID, you can even have my weapon, but Katie's cookies are where I draw a line in the snow!" In a lightning fast display of trickery and rabbit-craft that would have made Harry Potter proud, he disarmed me and brought me to my knees. By this point my so-called comrades had retreated to the nearby bunker trembling in fear. I contemplated the headline next week "Promising Army Radiologist Killed with his Own Weapon by Al Qaida Rabbit." I wondered if I'd be remembered as a prophet, as I often warned the command staff of the potential dangers of these creatures and predicted my demise at the paws of these cotton-tailed assailants. As I was preparing for the worst, out of nowhere one or our special operatives took him out with a single shoulder-fired missile.

SSG Jake McGrew (call sign "Squeakers")

I cannot show you the aftermath, as the images are classified. Suffice it to say I'm alive with only minor first degree burns and moderate right sided hearing loss. I also caught some shrapnel in my left calf (one of his evil buck-tooth incisors lodged under my skin) which was easily removed by our surgeon. I'm on prophylactic meds for rabies, tularemia and distemper though.

I am thankful to be alive, and pray for a better start to 2008. Be safe, friends and countrymen. It's a dangerous world out there. Happy New Year! Muller out.

Merry Christmas from Kosovo!

2007-12-25T11:57:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas! It's roughly 6:00 PM here in Kosovo which means it's high noon on the eastern seaboard. I hope everyone had a happy and peaceful Christmas eve and a wonderful Christmas morning. Last night, CPT Gustafson (the chaplain for one of our infantry units, Task Force Bayonet) performed a beautiful 23:00 Christmas Eve candlelight service which we enjoyed immensely. He followed this up by delivering an equally stirring yet joyful 11:00 AM Christmas day sermon. This was of course, followed by one of the most debaucherous and decadent meals the Army has ever served. The DFAC (dining facility) was decorated like a Broadway play. While in the serving line, I asked for dark meat and was handed what appeared to be a large leg bone brimming with meat. The taste was slightly peculiar but quite good. Though I'll never be entirely sure, I have a suspicion I had a hearty serving of jackalope. I feel fine right now, but do have this uncontrollable hankering for raw carrots... Here are some scenes from the last 48 hours:

"Santa" gas attendents at a local filling station

COL Hicklin (DCCS - Deputy Commander fo Clinical Services) with Santa

Entry into the DFAC

Dessert Bar

DFAC Nativity scene

DFAC Santa scene

MAJ Miranda (flight surgeon) on the left with friends

Medical Supply, Medical Maintainence and Veterinarian Services

SGT Brown (x ray tech) with folks from Sick Call and Optometry

Command staff (far) and Docs (near)

Table Decorations

My Christmas Dinner. I'm really full...

My mystery leg bone (almost done)

I hope you and your families enjoy a peaceful, safe and Merry Christmas Day!

Until next year, Muller out.

I would NOT be surprised if I see a penguin...

2007-12-23T11:11:00.000-05:00

Bbbbrrrrrrr......

Sorry, okay I have restored blood flow to my fingers and now I can type. I hope everyone back in the States is safe and has already traveled to their destination with friends or family. I sincerely hope that neither you or your loved ones got caught in the Midwest (Chicago) travel debacle I have been reading about. One good thing about being deployed overseas … no Holiday travel nightmares! Honestly though, I'd take two nights on the floor of Terminal 1 Concourse C at O'Hare if I got to spend Christmas with Katie...

I would like to request that Al Gore and his Nobel prize winning team of environmental scientists spend some time with us at Camp Bondsteel. I sincerely believe they will begin to doubt the notion of global warming. Please.... spare me the lectures about how global warming actually creates upper atmospheric instability with harsher weather conditions at both ends of the spectrum. I understand and accept most of the data/analysis. I'm just really freakin' cold right now and trying to make a joke, people!

Yesterday I stepped outside to use the bathroom (yes, I have to walk outside to get to the communal latrine) and was greeted by a row of icicles from hell. These things could easily be mounted on the business end of an M16 for a very effective (albeit short-lived) bayonet. I was careful not to close the door of my room too hard, so as to not dislodge these icy spears and impale some unsuspecting soldier wandering by.

I quintuple-layered and attempted a mad dash to the hospital. Again, I am struck by the intense feeling that I'm actually not a neuroradiologist from DC... but rather a psychotic scientific zealot who has lost control of my cognitive functions and moved above the Arctic Circle to carefully measure, chart and publish how fast the cracks in the polar icecap are widening. I really will not be surprised if I see a penguin wander past the TOC (Army acronym for the day, Tactical Operations Center). I just hope I'm not the one they choose to sit on their egg for three months. For those "Animal Planet" junkies in the crowd, I realize that penguins are indigenous to Antarctica and not the North Pole... But it's my story and you'll have to deal with it!

As we walked home from the dining facility that night (quickly I might add) we happened upon another distressing sight. There were some pathetic flowers from earlier this season still in their planters hanging from a balcony. Ice was growing off these things like a beard. Finally, as I walked down my balcony I was horrified to realize that the curiously large icicles from that morning had fathered millions of tiny icicle-lets of their own. In the name of all that is good and holy… the icicles have icicles! Where will the madness end? Hopefully not with a cataclysmic battle between good and evil.

I do have a warmer story though, particularly for you "animal planet" addicts. We have three working dogs here at Camp Bondsteel, all German shepherds. Two are trained for general patrol and narcotics (Allen and Zorby) and the third is specialty trained for explosives detection. I do not know his name yet, as I'll meet him on Thursday. I was interested to learn that they are issued socal security numbers, acrue rank and retire not unlike those of us that walk upright in uniform. Each year, they have to undergo a complete physical including radiographs.

SSG Shaw and SGT Brown (x-ray techs) with Allen

CPT Neal (veterinarian) positioning Allen with his handler

Allen taking a break

Despite being highly trained, these furry commandos will not hold still for x-rays and are briefly sedated for the procedure. We were happy to accommodate our veterinary colleagues and four legged comrades in the department of radiology.

Zorby having a "Propofol nap" and an elbow film

Posing with Allen before he wakes up from his "nap"

I was even asked to interpret and render a formal report on the plain films of the lumbar spine, hips and elbow joints. We were all sad to learn that Zorby had early osteoarthritis of the left hip which will likely result in an honorable discharge in the near future.

As I was completing Allen's films, I noticed something I do not ordinarily see on human studies. Initially I was amazed, but slowly began to feel this overwhelming sense of inadequacy.

You're the man Allan… there's no doubt about that.

Well, I guess I'll end there. Tomorrow (Christmas eve) I head out for more outpatient MR studies and will actually be performing an MR arthrogram on one of the MPs. That entails placing a needle under flouroscopy into the left shoulder joint and instilling a mixture of saline and contrast, followed by high resolution MR imaging. At night, we'll having a showing of "Love Actually" at the Hospital, the British Christmas time romantic comedy. Several of us plan to then attend the 23:00 candlelight service at the base chapel.

I wish each of you and your families a safe, peaceful and Merry Christmas.

Muller out.

Getting "Outside the Wire" in Kosovo

2007-12-19T15:45:00.000-05:00

One of the distinct differences between my last deployment and now is the frequency I've gotten off base, as well as the variety of things I've been able to do. This is due in part, to both increased stability of the region and fledgling economic growth. I have also gotten more creative in my old age :) Deployed soldiers refer to leaving the patrolled base as "getting outside the wire". You thought you were done with army vernacular, huh? NOT!

Roughly once a week, I take several soldiers to one of two local private MR clinics for studies. There is one in Pristina, the capital of Kosovo as well as another just over the border in Skopje, Macedonia. For the first several weeks, I was also doing flouroscopic guided epidural steroid injections for back pain. Durng one injection, a gave a little too much epidural anesthetic agent to one of our ER physician assistants and basically put his pelvis and legs to sleep for several hours.... poor guy. He's doing fine now, and his sciatica is much better! The staff was very accommodating at the clinics and the equipment was excellent. On the first day I walked into Euromed Klinika (the private center in Pristina) Dr. Gazmend Hasbahta was standing there. We both looked at each other in shock, not expecting to see each other. I had met Gazmend in 2004 at the University Hospital in Pristina when he was still on faculty there. Even the Kosavars go into private practice! It was great to catch up with him, and work together as colleagues over this time period.

Euromed Klinika in Pristina, Kosovo

Dr. Gazmend Hasbahta

LTC Jeff Sabino just after his injection Lunch at Cafe Resa in Pristina after leaving Euromed -

LTC Sabino could not feel his butt or legs when this picture was taken

A few words about driving in Kosovo.... sweet Jesus, it's scary. Let me see if I can paint a picture. First, the roads are quite narrow and have no shoulders. Second, there are posted speed limits and the roads are ostensibly patrolled, but in reality it's quite Darwinian and survival of the fittest dominates. The drivers pass on the right and the left (despite no shoulders) and seem to have little or no regard for their life. You have to be aggressive, or they'll eat you alive. A motorized Kosovar respects only the accelerator, not the brake pads. This brand of insanity is eclipsed only by the pedestrians who appear to have even less concern for life and limb, stepping out into traffic whenever the mood hits them. It's like a real-life game of Frogger. On top of that, you must beware of the donkey drawn carriages and so called "Kosovo Harleys" which are actually 10-12 Hp rototillers hitched to homemade wagons. The "driver" sits in the wagon and holds onto the long metal handles of the rototiller, adjusting the throttle from his/her perch. It's quite a sight and I'll do my best to get a picture for you. Problem is, I've been doing most of the driving myself as the enlisted folk are not comfortable with standard transmissions. Tough to drive in these conditions and snap pictures...

Drive Happy... Kosovo Highway, coming up on a donkey-cart

Passing a happy Albanian local on his donkey-cart

Kosavar Driving School... cracks me up every time

The Ben-af - Kosovo's equivalent of Target

At the request of our Commander, I was asked to give a lecture at the German camp in Prizren. It's about 90 minutes away through a windy mountain pass in southwest Kosovo. We absolutely loved the visit, and they seemed to enjoy my lecture on Imaging of Intracranial and Cervical Spine Trauma. I guess stereotypes are everywhere though... the Germans commented that they presumed I was Italian by how much I used my hands to talk during the lecture. Those crazy Germans... They provided a great meal for us though, and we got back safely in the snow.

Driving to the German camp in Prizren

German tanks affectionately named Nicole and Denise

Outside the German Field Hospital

Just before my lecture at Prizren

At dinner with our German counterparts

The following weekend, about 30 of us boarded a bus for Camp Casablanca. That's the headquarters for the Swiss and Austrian contingent in Kosovo. They were having a Christmas event in the evening and we went to partake in the festivities. It's very convenient for Americans, as most educated Europeans speak English. The Swiss and Austrians were great, and showed us quite a good time. We actually roasted chestnuts over an open fire. I bought an authentic Swiss army knife and was glad to get out for the evening.

Camp Casablanca

Upstairs in the coffee bar at the Swiss Chalet

Outside at the Christmas Fair

Site of the "roasting chestnuts"

German contribution: Electrifyed Christmas KFOR truck The cab of the Christmas KFOR truck

The magnet in Pristina was being serviced for a period of time, so I recently drove several soldiers to Skopje for their studies. We went to a private clinic known as Neuromedica and were given the red carpet treatment. The neuroradiologist Dr. Netkov Senco was great, and we enjoyed trading stories and comparing cases. Who knows, maybe we'll run into each other at the RSNA someday. We stopped at the American embassy on the way back (McDonald's) for a little "taste of home".

Neuromedica - Skopje, Macedonia

The MR/CT tech at Neuromedica

Dr. Netcov Senco 1SG Breight enjoying a Big Tasty

I almost forgot, my former roomate Chris Layne (the bastard got to go home... I hate him) was able to snap a picture of the elusive Camp Bondsteel sasquatch rabbit one night. I had to adjust the image somewhat due to the dark but you can clearly see his devious, beady and subversive eyes. I'm still trying to catch him during the day, but I'm sort of nervous.

The Beast stalks his prey

For those of you who have just enjoyed Hanukkah, I say shalom! For all you Gentiles, I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and peaceful, prosperous New Year.

Muller out.

Stop right there... and keep that camera where I can SEE it.

2007-12-05T15:34:00.000-05:00

Welcome back shoppers. I must apologize for my "blogger delinquency" but things have been quite busy since Thanksgiving. I have several posts relating to recent events which will come in rapid succession, but I must tell this story first. I need to preface this anecdote by saying that I do sincerely respect and admire the Army, and am frequently in awe of it's capacity to accomplish objectives against seemingly insurmountable odds. But sometimes, the rules (affectionately known as "regs"... more Army vernacular) can become downright comical. This is particularly evident when the policies are not clearly delineated or documented. Let's begin...

First a brief insight into the climate for the week following Thanksgiving.

MAJ Cortese (orthopedic surgeon) and COL Hicklin (psychiatrist/DCCS)

The weather thankfully breaks, and the frost began to thaw. For a few days there, I thought I had been relocated to some remote atmospheric monitoring outpost in lower Antarctica. This past Sunday, two buddies and I decided to "walk the perimeter" and enjoy the weather, get some exercise and maybe memorialize our surroundings on digital print. Simple, right? Maybe.

Mount Duke as seen over Camp Bondsteel

MAJ Cortese and my roommate CAPT Layne (CRNA) proving they are "Army Strong"

Mount Duke from another vantage point

Kosavar Countryside

Yes... we love Mount Duke here at Bondsteel

The last image is of a typical Kosavar Village, as seen from Bondsteel. Notice the minaret/mosque in the center. The ethnic Albanians are predominantly Muslim, which is a testament to the years that the region was under Turkish Ottoman rule.

Just as this last image was acquired, I heard a voice from above say, "Hey, you there!" I looked up to see one of the guards in the watch tower staring down at us. Just as a point of fact, the perimeter guards are hired contractors, but most are former enlisted. This guy seemed quite excited, had his hand on his weapon (still holstered) and instructed us to "stand fast". Of course, not having a clue what his issue was we approached the tower. We could hear frantic radio traffic and he was describing "three perpetrators". This guy was tripping over his words and was about as excited as a rent-a-cop at TJMaxx when someone sets off the door sensor. He stutters, "You.. you can't take pictures here!" "Why not?" we reply, as there were no signs to support his claim and we had never been told that. No pictures of the aircraft, flightline or gates we knew. But the perimeter.... hmmm. Again he bellows "Stand fast... the MPs are enroute!" At about this point we begin to realize he's serious and simultaneously my pager goes off. The hospital is calling for me to do a CT on a head trauma patient. "You have to wait... MPs are on the way!" he repeats as if we didn't get it the first time. Finally the MP arrives and begins to question us as if we had Lindbergh's baby.

I asked what I thought was a rhetorical question "Do you have a phone or radio so I can call the hospital, I'm a physician and I've been paged for a patient." The MP looks at the rent-a-guards, they look back at him... more radio traffic. "No sir, we are unable to call the hospital on our equipment". Great, so now I'm being detained for taking a picture of a hill, and I can't let the hospital know where I am. I thought about asking how I would be able to post bail, but I thought that might be inflammatory... these guys we as serious as a heart attack.

We had to wait again, so CID (Criminal Investigations Division!) could arrive. My patience and good will was wearing thin, and I demanded to see the written policy or "reg" to support this charade. Of course, they could not quote or produce it (see... I'm learning the Army) and I started to take down their names, wherein the original rent-a-cop began to vagal (doctor speak for starting to faint... yes, you'll learn medical vernacular too!) CID arrived and put the whole issue to rest. They got a good laugh out of my pictures, and gave me a lift to the hospital. Turns out the rent-a-guards had allowed a local national to take pictures all around the perimeter recently without so much as second look, and were summarily chewed out. Hence, a new "policy" that had never been clarified, passed through JAG or disseminated to the Task Force. Sure did make for an interesting day though, and a lot of laughs after the fact.

Maybe I'll try for another walk this Sunday....

Maybe not.

Till we speak again,

Muller out.

Balkan Turkey... and jackalope?

2007-11-23T15:34:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a safe and restful Thanksgiving yesterday. Our clinics were open in the morning but we had the afternoon off. In a similar fashion to 2004, the Army (and KBR, our food service vendor) went all out for Thanksgiving. What a feast! Tons of whatever you wanted, and of course lots of alcohol-free beer, wine and champagne.

We ate once at about 12:30 then again at 18:00... most of us are still cramping and hoping to fit into our uniforms.

Task Force Docs

One of the oddities of Kosovo are these curiously large rabbits that are all around but are particularly abundant "inside the wire" (that is military lingo for inside the fence of your forward operating base. By the time this voyage is over you will be able to impress your friends at garden parties with your insider knowledge of army vernacular).

These vermin are scary... and huge. They are about as tall as a medium-sized dog and have ears like radar dishes. When they sit back on their thumpers they resemble a kangaroo.

According to Bondsteel lore they have never charged or attacked anyone. I don't take any chances though, which is the real reason they issue us weapons here (my theory). Seriously though, if one of these beasts so much as makes one hop my way... I'll report back to the hospital several rounds short of a full clip. No one will question my motives because they are all scared too.

Anyway, at the chow hall yesterday they had a serving station where a local national was carving and serving from the single biggest hunk of roast meat I have ever seen. I swear this thing had to be 3 feet wide by 2 feet deep and had a massive bone that was just starting to show. Just about the size of a roast jackalope. Coincidence... I think not. Not many American soldiers were lined up at that station, but the German troops sure put a hurtin' on it. Good luck... don't blame me for the outbreak of tularemia on base. In any event, these beasts are quite wiley and difficult to get a picture of (sort of like sasquatch). The above pictures were pirated from the internet, but you get the idea! I am committed to getting you one though... so stay tuned. I need to ensure that there is a humvee, Blackhawk or something else in the picture for frame of reference.

Well, that's all folks. Hope that Black Friday shopping did not leave you penniless!

And so it begins.... Part Deux

2007-11-21T16:19:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my latest adventure with the US Army... Please keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times for your safety.

As many of you know, I have been in the U.S. Army Reserve medical corps since 2001 and have recently been called up for deployment. In an incredibly ironic twist of fate, I was sent as a radiologist to Camp Bondsteel, Kosovo in support of our NATO peacekeeping and stabilization operation. That fact in and of itself is neither twisted nor ironic. What is however, is the fact that almost exactly three years to the date I am returning to the same base, same hospital and same chair that I occupied from October 2004 through January 2005 during my previous deployment. Oh, and I'm staying in the exact same room on base. Oh and I almost forgot, the time period (Holidays inclusive) is identical. Given all the obligations the U.S. military has throughout the world and the sheer size and complexity of its personnel, I'm quite sure this truly happened by chance and not design.

If you so choose, you can join me on this trip. I will attempt to update you at least weekly with stories and images from the Balkans. For operational security reasons, I will often keep details vague which I hope is not a hiderance to your enjoyment of this tale.

I started my journey at Fort Benning sometime in late October and arrived via commercial air at Pristina Airport in early November.

The weather was quite brisk, and the familiar grey overcast was present. As soon as I stepped off the plane I glanced to the left and spotted one of the ubiquitous KFOR choppers.

We got through customs without delay and all of our bags made it to Kosovo (3 physicians, 4 separate aircraft, 3 separate airlines). What are the chances of that?

We arrived at the base later that day and got settled into our room. Army soldiers typically refer to their room as a "hooch". I'm not entirely sure where that started, but according to:

Glossary of Military Terms & Slang from the Vietnam War

hooch a hut or simple dwelling, either military or civilian. Also spelled hootch.

Which (of course) should never be confused with the subsequent term I found:

hoochgirl Vietnamese woman employed by American military as maid or laundress

I can vouch for the fact that the female local nationals (mostly ethnic Albanians) that work at Camp Bondsteel are NOT referred to as hoochgirls.

Wikipedia offers this take:

Hooch (shelter), a small shelter for people, common in Vietnam

Must have been a Vietnam thing. But you just don't know maannn.... you were not THEEERREE!

I digress, back to the story...

The next morning I arrived at the hospital bright and early. The hospital looked exactly the same as the day I left. I even found items I had left behind still sitting around collecting dust. The departing radiologist gleefully handed over his sidearm and wished me good luck.

After squaring things away in my department, I left the hospital that evening for the chow hall and was privy to one of those occasional beautiful Balkan sunsets over my new home.

I thought to myself "this isn't so bad" and drifted off to sleep later that night ready to tackle the next day with Army vigor. Then I woke up and walked outside...

Sweet Jesus, it was cold! Welcome back to the Balkan winter Major Muller. Good thing the Army outfits us with all the latest in cold weather gear. Truth be told, I would prefer snow and ice to sand, heat and RPGs. What can a soldier do but carry on...

Well, that is where I will leave you for now. Much has happened since then which will be chronicled in upcoming posts. Until we meet again, have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!

Muller out.